Marriage Entitlement Ideology - No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

 Marriage Entitlement Ideology - No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Men would be well-advised to take women's admonition "not to think with your dick" very seriously.

https://smolyhokes.blogspot.com/2018/01/dont-think-with-your-dick-valuable.html

Do not value women solely for their youth and beauty.  The important things are the things that endure. Youth and beauty are waning assets. Think also about important things that endure. Don't marry solely for waning assets.  Shared values,  the ability and inclination to communicate rationally, and the willingness to compromise are going to be more important for the long term.

Apparently, women need to be protected from "power inequalities" in marriage and their "bounded rationality." ( Prenuptial Agreements and the Presumption of Free Choice: Issues of Power in Theory and Practice, by Sharon Thompson page 167 https://www.researchgate.net/publication/309847645_Prenuptial_Agreements_and_the_Presumption_of_Free_Choice_Issues_of_Power_in_Theory_and_Practice) The most logical way for women to protect themselves from "power inequalities" and their irrational behavior would be for the women not to marry men that had such unequal power.  The trouble is that women seem to prefer men with high status, income, wealth, and power.  Attorneys try to protect these women from their "bounded rationality," by making it uncertain that a prenuptial contract will be binding.  This protection, of course, comes at the expense of successful men. Thus, successful men should protect these irrational women from "power inequalities" by not marrying them. (That is, don't think with your dick.)

Because of "marriage entitlements," if a financially successful man does not marry a similarly financially successful woman, he should beware the mantra "no good deed goes unpunished."  As will be explained below, the more good deeds a successful man does, the more the law will punish him. For simplicity, and because she gets her entitlement whether she has his children or not, assume that the marriage endures for ten years or so and that there are no children.

Consider three different options for a financially successful man (there are other options not listed):

Case A:  Similar Financial Status 

If a financially successful man marries a similarly financially successful woman, he is relatively safe from legalized plunder. Basically, there is no net transfer of marital wealth between the spouses during the marriage or in a divorce. A high standard of living is possible, along with high savings and investment, when both spouses have comparably high incomes.

Case B:  Dissimilar Financial Status with a Prenuptial Agreement

If a financially successful man does not marry a similarly financially successful woman, there will be a net transfer of wealth from the husband to the wife during the marriage. The married man sacrifices the higher standard of living and the higher savings and investment that he would have had if he had stayed single.  Conversely, the married woman gets both a higher standard of living along with higher savings and investment than she would have had  if she had stayed single. In a divorce, there are lower savings and investment in case B than case A.  Assume the savings and investments are split evenly between the spouses. For the husband, compared to staying single, after divorce he has lower savings and investment. For the wife, compared to staying single, after divorce she has higher savings and investment.

What does the prenup do for him?  A prenuptial agreement can help minimize (hopefully to zero) any transfer of income and/or wealth after divorce.   

Case C:  Dissimilar Financial Status without a Prenuptial Agreement

Case C is almost the same during the marriage as Case B.  That is, if a financially successful man does not marry a similarly financially successful woman, there will be a net transfer of wealth from the husband to the wife during the marriage. The married man sacrifices the higher standard of living and the higher savings and investment that he would have had if he had stayed single.  Conversely, the married woman gets both a higher standard of living along with higher savings and investment than she would have had  if she had stayed single. In a divorce, there are lower savings and investment in case C than case A.  Assume the savings and investments are split evenly between the spouses.  For the husband, compared to staying single, after divorce he has lower savings and investment. For the wife, compared to staying single, after divorce she has higher savings and investment.

The big difference between case C and case B is that the woman expects a  transfer of income and/or wealth to her even after divorce. 

If a woman will not even communicate and negotiate what she needs in a prenuptial agreement, how can one expect good communication and compromise in the marriage?  An unwillingness to negotiate and a "take it or leave it" ultimatum on getting married without a prenuptial agreement is a power play that shows total disregard for the man's concerns.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

In case A,  the man is not making any financial sacrifices due to marriage and thus the law sees no "good deed" and thus will not even attempt to punish him in a divorce.   Not only that, but women generally do not see the man in a bad light.

In case B,  the man is making a financial sacrifice due to marriage and thus the law sees a "good deed" and will attempt to punish him to the extent that the prenuptial agreement can be circumvented.  The law, and women generally, will give the man no credit for the financial sacrifice he made for the marriage.  There is a negative sentiment that he is not a good guy because he should have simply trusted her and not negotiated a prenuptial agreement.  Instead, women will complain about "power inequalities" and being "forced" to sign a prenup that attempts to stop a  transfer of income and/or wealth after divorce.

In case C, the man is making a financial sacrifice due to marriage and thus the law sees a "good deed" that needs to be punished.  Furthermore, because he trusted both his wife and the family law system, the law sees more good deeds that the man has done and will punish the man even more harshly than in case B.  Because he trusted family law, family law will force him to provide her a marital lifestyle entitlement and will attempt to go after even premarital assets in any way possible to satisfy her unmet "needs."