Don't Think With Your Dick - A Valuable Marriage Insight
When I was in college I heard numerous women complain that "men think with their dicks." This expression was sometimes used simply to complain about men. More ominously, it was also used to justify either indifference or often outright glee that a man had "been taken to the cleaners" by a wife that the speakers thought was not appropriate for the man. There was absolutely no sympathy for the man; indeed, it was his fault. Something like: " If he hadn't been thinking with his dick, he would have known she was a gold digger; why else would she have married him?" (The most common reasons for "inappropriate" wives seemed to be either a much younger woman than the man or perhaps he was ugly whereas she was pretty. My assessment was the speakers considered the wife inappropriate because she was "out of his league". Therefore, she had to be a gold digger.)
There were four things I considered from this:
1. The law encourages gold-digging because it (sometimes) compensates women simply for "marrying well."
2. Many women thought that there was nothing wrong with the law compensating women that they claimed were gold diggers, even if the sole reason for a large compensation was that they had "married well."
3. Many women did not consider the man to be the victim of a gold digger, instead they blamed the man for his stupidity and "thinking with his dick."
4. He had simply trusted her and given her "the benefit of the doubt," even though a prenuptial negotiation could have resolved much of the doubt. He was, in fact, thinking with his dick. Had he been thinking with his brain he would have realized that the benefit of the doubt should be given when the doubt cannot be removed, not instead of removing the doubt. A true gold digger is unlikely to sign a prenuptial contract.
After these comments from women about men deserving what they get when they "think with their dicks", I was much more conscious that a man needed to be very careful not to let love cloud his judgment. Marriage is often the most dangerous financial action that successful men ever take. There is a great deal of value to the admonition not to "think with your dick." Men should think with their brain and not marry women that are financially dangerous to them.
This is indeed great wisdom that should be openly taught to both genders during adolescence. Whether or not it will be heeded depends on the individual. However, many people (men) are not even aware of this line of logical thinking. At least they might better sense when they're putting themselves at risk during the emotionally charged onset of relationships to come.
ReplyDeleteInasmuch as marriage is probably the most financially dangerous and misunderstood thing that people do, teaching about marriage, as you suggest, is indicated. Perhaps a high school course on financial matters generally, with an emphasis on the most common matters such as marriage as well as retirement planning, should be a requirement to graduate.
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