The Stupidest Secretary in the World?

I had a female office partner for many years at Los Alamos. Call her Jane Doe for story purposes. I do not mean to be sexist, but occasionally it made a difference that my office partner was female.

One day I returned to my office (I think after visiting another Los Alamos Lab area) and Jane greeted me with a big grin and told me that "You have the stupidest secretary in the world." She then proceeded to tell me a story while grinning the entire time.

This was in the 1980's and our office telephones had neither voice mail nor answering machines. So, we would answer each other's phone when the the other person was not in the office. A man called on my phone with some very technical questions about MCNP (a Monte Carlo particle transport computer program) that he wanted to ask me about. According to Jane the conversation went something like this with the man becoming ever more flabbergasted:

M. Is Tom there?
J.  No.
M. Do you know where he is?
J. No.
M. Do you know when he will be back?
J. No.
M. (silent pause)
J. Can I take a message?

At this point Jane said there was a good deal of hesitation in the man's voice and tone as to whether taking a message might be beyond this idiot secretary's capabilities.

M. Well ... Okay ... I have a complicated geometrical region and I need his advice on how to define such a region in MCNP.

J. No, you don't need Tom's advice.
M. (silent pause)
J. Tom is not the expert on MCNP geometry. You need my advice.

According to Jane, the man immediately recognized his predicament at potentially having pissed off the very person he needed. Jane said that she could almost hear all his mental gears backpedaling as he apologized profusely. Jane took it all with good humor and assured the man that he need not worry as she was amused more than insulted. She then helped him solve his geometry problem,